I’ve decided to give EVE Online another go. Not in the typical “I guess I should resub and figure out what to train these days” way, but rather an entirely new start to my EVE Online experience. Thanks to the wonders of the Steam Holiday Sale, I’ve got a new account ready to go – but I need your help. Check out the post for the full story and what you could win for helping!

Eight years ago, I was fresh out of the military with no job and no hobbies aside from World of Warcraft. Burning Crusade had come and gone, leaving me exhausted with ‘theme park’ MMO experiences – a phrase that was widely used at the time, but appears not to be any longer. At any rate, I went casting about for alternatives to Blizzard’s juggernaut and swiftly found myself entranced by the idea of EVE Online. A friend of mine in the military suffered a severe addiction to this weird spaceship MMO made by vikings, to the point where he committed several not-quite-legitimate acts in order to play it while we were deployed. Of course, this was during the bad old days of manual training – not even a 24 hour skill queue thank you very much. Ahem.

I decided to give it a shot and installed it on my laptop. I remember the feeling I had then as one of wonder – what kind of game would I be stepping into? Could I join the Guiding Hand Social Club? Could I make headlines? You know, the typical newbie b.s. you suffer when you first step into New Eden.

When the game was done installing (wow this ‘digital download’ thing is actually pretty cool, I thought) I made a character and jumped right in. I don’t remember that character’s name – I would quit EVE before my two week trial had wrapped up – but little did I know that EVE Online would, very literally, change my life’s course due to that first install. I saw enough during my short time with the game that the idea of flying through space became an attractive one; within a couple months I was back at it, with a new trial account, and a mission.

That was eight years ago, and yet it doesn’t seem very long ago at all, up until I log into EVE in these modern times. New ships, new UI, new features, gameplay, space, nullsec entities, lowsec entities, names, faces, character models – in short, EVE Online today is not the same game as it was on that day back in 2007 when I made my first character.

That means it is time to make a new character. Thanks to my buddy Gabe Newell, I’ve picked up a new copy of EVE Online via Steam for a ridiculously dirt cheap price – just 5 bucks. The price, combined with the experience of running EVE through Steam (something I’ve never done before) will help mark this account, and the character I make on it, apart from my normal activities on Marc Scaurus and his associated alts. However, I’ve run into a bit of a snag. I have no idea what to name this new character.

I know roughly what I want to do with it. Looking at EVE from as much of a newbie angle as my jaded mentality will allow, I find the concept of exploration to not only be a dominant theme in EVE Online in recent expansions, but also a truly interesting one. I’ve always wanted to be an explorer, so explore this new character shall. I even picked up the ‘explorer DLC’ pack via Steam as well, which I’m sure will end up being a rip off even on sale, but hey – in for a dime, in for a dollar.

Historically I’m pretty bad at naming characters. I can never get a funny name, an intimidating name, or even that unique or pronounceable of a name. Help me, readers – suggest a name in the comments below! The winner (as determined solely by me, sorry) will receive a free PLEX for their help. I’ll be taking entries for 2 days from the time of this post – until January 4th at 11am Pacific. No submissions will be considered, no matter how amazing, past that time.

I’ll reveal the winner and the name in the next edition of Rebooting EVE Online on January 9th. Good luck!

proceduraldave moderator

Thanks for all the great suggestions everyone! Entries for the contest are now closed, as I need to get a move on and make this new character! Winner to be announced on the 9th as promised!


I cycled through some names recently, the characters are biomassed now... their names were

Steve Martin

Benjamin Franklin

Simon Cowell

Joe Biden

Tom Selleck

Chef Boyardee

Billy Joel

good names to be had now that unused character names were reset.

proceduraldave moderator

@RainJustRain Some tantalizingly good picks here. Do I want to be Joe Biden, crazy space uncle? Or Simon Cowell, crazy space brit? Or Benjamin Franklin and name all my ships 'Kite 2'?


Nah, still poor. You finally make some money, but then your main just ~needs~ another faction battleship :P


Alternatively, if you ever decide to go into Trade, I'll biomass my old trade alt, and you can have his name, Recessio, (pun on "recession" for the less apt), if you give me the 24h biomass queue notice.

proceduraldave moderator

@DarkMalfunction The offer is much appreciated, and the trade alt name is great - but you should keep it! Unless you've already made your fortunes, ofc


Whatever name you end up with it will be good to have you back in-game. So, in order to help you out, here are some possible names for you to consider. I haven't checked these, so you'll have to do that:

Bolan Havik

Balen Havik

Dalvik Dangerously

Beth Weston (This isnt taken, I just checked)

Roger Havok

Emo Williams

Uncle Jimmy (lol, its taken)

I say play a chick this time and take Beth Weston, you ain't gonna do better than that one.